She looked
past his shoulder
to the couple
at the
next table:
her blue dress
his brown mustache
their fingers
twisted together
on the table
She could not look
at the familiar
mouth
as it formed the
words that
split
her
down
the middle
The title describes the poem perfectly!
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OH, Mary. The double meaning in “glancing” here is perfection itself. And the way you’ve described it. Whew. I was there with her.
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Wow. This is really cutting. Superb use of details.
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blow indeed….
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So very well written!
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I love the subtle but effective way you gave us this scene Mary ~ Yikes for that glancing blow that goes right inside like a knife ~ So well done ~ Thanks for joiningus ~
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The worst twist of all Mary, catching him with another! Wonderful!
Bekkie
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Oh, ouch. Such a horrible thing to experience. And the title–just perfect!
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This is a blow that would cut anyone down.. the subtle way you describe the scene made it so much harder to observe.
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Ì like this! You’ve told a complete story in 44 words. The mind fills in the rest.
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Thanks Patti. I did start out quite a bit longer.
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Very cool title and I love how we’re left wondering about that other man…so many questions, and how you set the stage for that twist at the end.
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Ouch indeed. Well written.
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Ouch, I could feel that cut..the pain is real…
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Breaking up while seeing love at the next table…traffic!
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Lol, um…is that autocorrect of”tragic”?
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I really should proof-read when writing replies on my tablet. Yes. That was supposed to be tragic…although for one who is too distraught over a breakup, I suppose the word could be traffic…
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Heheh, no worries.
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Oh you left me wanting to know more…and that was a good thing. Very effective as you gave us the gist of it (and the twist of it) in 44 words.
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