NaPoWriMo – Day #9

This is just a bit of foolishness in a time of grave issues and serious problems.

There’s pandemonium at the zoo
in streets and at the school –
all over!

Large yellow llamas have clipped
across the street
stopping traffic, standing
withers to withers in protest.
They have been fleeced
and want sweaters and scarves
as recompense.
Next, they will march
on the yarn and craft shops.

The tigers have busted out too.
They’re capturing circus folk
and audience members
with their bare paws –
or rather tiger paws.
These tigers are a cagey lot,
putting the people behind bars
and training them
to balance on balls
and jump through flaming hoops.
And every night the tigers
throw raw tofu through the bars
to feed their captives.

The school has been flooded
and taken over by flounders.
They insist on
an education to prepare them
for the future.
They have chased
the students away
and put the teachers
into glass tanks
in the back of the rooms
for the fish to observe and care for.
They hope to teach responsibility
to the fish students
by caring for the teacher-pets.

The pandas are out too.
Fed up with a black and white existence
they want more colorful lives.
So the pandas have collected dye
and are jumping, rolling,
and generally cavorting through
vats of all colors.
When they’re finished,
they’re going to the courthouse
to take over.
They will be bear police
bear judges, and bear lawyers.
Because pandas know
the world is not all black and white.

There’s pandemonium at the zoo
in streets and at the school –
all over!

NaPoWriMo #16

So yesterday the Notre Dame cathedral caught fire and much of it was destroyed. The world is diminished by it. It has repercussions in the religious, cultural and personal spheres. I was shocked and dismayed, so of course I completely avoided it in my writing. Stuff like this needs processing time, for me. Instead I took off on a tangent from a funny (I thought) cartoon about why there are no crocodiles in orchestras and that got me thinking. I loved the sound of, “an alligator orchestra” just the sound of it. And I started thinking about different instruments alligators might be able to use (if there was nothing but their big snouts and short arms limiting them). And then I started thinking, in a ridiculous way, of things different animals would be very good at, rather than bad at. And what follows is the start of the absurd little list.

The Octopus Bakery
has the best bread in town
they knead three loaves at a time
with an extra tentacle
to spread flour
or give an extra pat
or reach for a loaf pan
or run the cash register

The Aardvark Exterminator Co.
is the best in town
someone is on call
twenty-four hours a day
and they use no harsh chemicals
results guaranteed
or they will come back
no extra charge

Dung Beetle Septic, LLC
is the best ever
their motto:
Your shit
is our bread and butter
That is truth in advertising!

I Sit Writing This in the Kitchen Sink

Challenge: Use the first line of your favorite book and make it the first line of your post.

Disclaimer: “I sit writing this in the kitchen sink.”  is not the first line from my favorite book.  I’ve never read I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith, which is the book this first line is from.  But I certainly will now, because it’s such a great line.  In fact, I like it so much I’ve made it my tagline. The first line from my favorite book is, “Mrs. Dalloway said she would get the flowers herself.”  Now I love Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf,   but wouldn’t you rather write (and read) about sitting in the sink writing, rather than getting flowers?  I would.  So I really should start writing about writing sitting in the sink, rather than writing about writing about sitting in the sink writing.  Hmmm…probably not the best, as disclaimers go.


I sit writing this in the kitchen sink.  Why am I in the kitchen sink?  Well, there are any number of conditions under which that might be a reasonable place to write.  I can come up with five:

  1. There are scorpions on the kitchen floor.
  2. I have burned my bottom and am soaking it in cool water.
  3. The house is flooded and I am using my time productively as I wait for the water to recede.
  4. I’ve been drinking. A lot.
  5. I lost a bet.

So what other reasons would there be to, “Sit writing this in the kitchen sink”?

Now I could go on and do funny, sarcastic, heart-breaking or deathly serious little bits on each of these five reasons for sitting writing in the kitchen sink, but honestly I think you get the gist, and you’ve probably had enough of this by now anyway, right?  I thought so.  So I’ll close here.  You’re welcome.